1. Big Dude who Thinks He’s a Guard
You can recognize this baller immediately because he’s usually the tallest person on the court, yet he never bangs for rebounds and has an atrocious perimeter field goal percentage. He’ll lead a 3-on-1 fast break and pull up for a contested 17 footer. Despite repeated attempts to get him in the paint, he shrivels up like he’s taking a swim in the ocean. Next time you pick teams, be wary about choosing the biggest guy.
NBA equivalent: Antoine Walker
2. Guy with the Endorsement Contract
He really doesn’t have a deal with a shoe company, yet he’s dipped from headband to toe in all the same gear, usually from Jordan Brand. He runs a little slower since he can’t crease his brand new kicks. Also his gear contains all the latest wicker proof technology, just in case he might break a sweat. He’s the person checking the other games not for people’s skill level, but more so to checkout what other people are rocking.
NBA equivalent: Quentin Richardson
3. The Man
This cat hasn’t left the court in about 6 games since his team always wins, and still doesn’t get tired. He possesses a textbook jumpshot, finds the open man, and is efficient on defense as well as offense. And during these games, his actions look effortless. The best player on the opposing team tries to check him since he doesn’t possess the typical baller look, but he gets defeated along with the rest of his challengers.
NBA equivalent: Steve Nash
4. The Fake Baller
This guy looks the part. Has a sinewy and strong body, has a basketball-themed tattoo, either rocks corn-rows or has a shaved head, wears a jersey from an old league he has participated in, and just appears to be a player. But in reality he sucks. He takes most of the shots on the offensive-end and slacks off on D. He possesses poor footwork and is a digital clock – aka no hands.
NBA equivalent: Kwame Brown
5. The OG
You know this person because he is there everyday, as he’s a true gym rat. Those kicks he’s wearing aren’t the retro models, they’re just the original shoes. Just like older guys on the golf course always hit straight drives, the old cat is money from 20 feet in. Because he may have lost a step or 3 due to age, he’ll compromise this by playing a little dirtier, so watch them elbows, pulls and grabs. No one really calls off-the-ball fouls during pickup, so you might wish that someone else is guarding you rather than him.
NBA equivalent: Robert Horry
Source: www.ploomy.com
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